什么是国际球星啊(经典笑话段子集锦段子集锦:什么叫国际球星啊?)
小伙伴们大家好,欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”!上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷,武磊实现了在西班牙人队首发出场,实现了中国球员在西甲联赛的首次首发。欧冠赛场,曼联主场不敌巴黎,皇马战胜阿贾克斯,热刺完胜多特蒙德,切尔西也在欧联杯战胜对手。周末联赛,巴萨小胜对手,皇马则遭赫罗纳逆转,尤文、米兰、国米和拜仁等球队则纷纷取胜。好了,话不多说,让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧!
武磊首发,西班牙人0-0瓦伦西亚
Kloppkult(利物浦球迷):坐等他们再签下司马懿和曹操!(ping me when they sign Sima Yi and Cao Cao.)
Tickub(泰国球迷):你这魏国的伪球迷,还不是看他们赢了才粉的!(Friggin Wei bandwagoners, only hopping on after theyve won.)
天使两助攻,曼联0-2巴黎
Postmandmelon(阿森纳球迷):桑切斯上半场的表现太牛了,不但没有失误,就连一次触球都没有呢!(What a wonderful first half from Alexis, not a single mistake and not a single touch.)
thesilentGinlasagna(西班牙球迷):如果我是曼联对手的教练,我就直接把空间留给阿什利-扬,这样他不就能一直给我们的后卫传球了嘛!(If I were coaching against United I’d just leave the wing open to Young so he could consistently cross to our defenders.)
打开凤凰新闻,查看更多高清图片_bajz_ 12(西班牙球迷):不太明白曼联这迷之传中这么多,而禁区里却只有桑切斯和马塔…(Honestly, I dont know what United is trying to accomplish with all of those crosses while having Mata and Sanchez in the box.)
UniqueUsername_10(曼联球迷):我们把费莱尼卖的太早了,现在还有点不适应…(We sold Fellaini too soon. No way wecan recover from this.)
阿森西奥绝杀,皇马2-1阿贾克斯
Trickybuz93(未知主队球迷):阿贾克斯要在中场休息时买个前锋,是不是已经来不及了?(Is it too late for Ajax to buy a striker at half break?)
Hunchovis(未知主队球迷):现在我有点担心巴萨球迷的精神状况了,希望他们看完这场球后一切安康…(Genuinely concerned about the mental state of Barca fans right now really hope theyre all ok.)
DarkSofter(曼联球迷):考虑到阿贾克斯的出色表现,对于2-1的比分肯定是不满意啊,更何况他们还是那个1…(Ajax should have been sad even with a 2-1 lead considering how much they dominated till now, and somehow they are 1 down.)
Jeronn(阿贾克斯球迷):阿贾克斯不就这样,掌控比赛、门前吐饼,最终被对方防反偷鸡成功…(This is how it feels to watch Ajax in Europe, dominate the game, miss all chances and eventually get a counter goal and lose the game.)
Mattiejj(阿贾克斯球迷):天才的战术啊,当我们的左后卫前插进攻的时候,贝尔竟然来帮我们解围了!(I like this strategy where Bale is covering the LB position so our LB can go forward, tactical genius.)
helloswros(未知主队球迷):经历了卡里乌斯之后,贝尔就不把门将放在眼里了,随便什么位置都会射门…(Even since Karius, Bale has lost all fear for goalkeepers, keeps shooting from everywhere.)
孙兴慜进球,热刺3-0多特蒙德
TwoPlankinWiz(曼城球迷):看来热刺在赢英超之前要先夺欧冠了!(Scenes when Tottenham win the Champions League before the PL.)
GwynethPaltrowsHea(热刺球迷):告诉我,在伦敦唯一能看到欧冠的地方在哪里?(Tell me the ONLY place in London to watch Champions League football.)
StalkingDwarf(切尔西球迷):为什么每次我看拉梅拉的时候他就能变成梅西…(I swear whenever I watch Lamela, he either turns into Messi.)
BabaTheFrog(沙尔克球迷):我好想笑啊,可是我们马上就要踢曼城了…(I want to laugh but we play City next week :(
爆冷输球,阿森纳0-1鲍里索夫
RunnerComet(鲍里索夫球迷):队员们做到了!他们不惧艰难,创造了历史!他们,竟然输给了我们鲍里索夫!(Those madmans did it, they actually did the impossible, they against all odds... lost to us.)
sauce_murica(未知主队球迷):阿森纳这么努力地输球,就是为了把公众视线从曼联输给巴黎的比赛里移出来…(Arsenal working hard to take the focus off Man. Uniteds loss to PSG…)
2ndfastestmanalive(阿森纳球迷):问大家一个问题,你有没有推掉情人节计划,就为了来看这场球?(The question on everyone’s mind... did you postpone Valentine’s Day plans for this?)
sauce_murica(未知主队球迷):别蒙我了,我看了整场比赛,阿森纳球员根本就不会前插,整场比赛都不射啊!(We all watched that match. Dont lie to us. Arsenal managed no penetration and failed to score.)
吉鲁进球,切尔西2-1马尔默
OnlyOneSnoopy(切尔西球迷):我怀疑这场裁判在赛前把红黄牌忘在更衣室了…(I think this Ref has left his cards in the changing-room since the start of the game...)
VasiliiZaytsev(阿森纳球迷):切尔西帮我们个忙吧!你要是也输了球,阿森纳就不会是今天唯一被嘲笑的了…(Alright Chelsea do us a favour and fuck this up so Arsenal arent the only ones being mocked today)
Tizer_(切尔西球迷):今天是弱队逆袭的日子!鲍里索夫和切尔西都创造了历史!(Today is the day for small teams, Borisov and we’ve made histoty!)
梅西点射二中一
巴萨1-0巴拉多利德
Anonymousloverboy(巴萨球迷):梅西是不是赛前在更衣室打了个飞机,这场简直就是贤者模式啊…(Did Messi have a wank in the dressing room right before the game? He looks so lost and distracted.)
THeScArYFAcE1(皇马球迷):巴萨这踢得就像一坨翔,真不知道该高兴还是难过,因为巴萨最终还是赢了球…(barcelona have been playing like shit , idk if i should be happy about that or sad because theyre still winning this game.)
Iciboy(布莱克本球迷):是不是外星人把梅西抢走了,然后留下一个凡人给我们?(Did the Aliens take Messi for a day and replaced him with a human?)
Imperator91(葡萄牙体育球迷):苏亚雷斯恐怕是下注100欧元赌这场比分是1-0吧…(Suarez must have put €100 on the game ending 1-0.)
拉莫斯染红,皇马1-2赫罗纳
graveyeverton93(埃弗顿球迷):巴萨已经很尽力地往外扔西甲冠军了,但给皇马机会你不中用啊!(Barcelona have tried their best to throw away the La Liga Title this season, and Real Madrid have still fucked it.)
immu_01(西班牙球迷):库尔图瓦最后时刻差点头球绝平,基本就是皇马下半场唯一的亮点了…(Courtois nearly equalising was RMs only highlight of the second half.)
C罗迪巴拉进球
尤文3-0弗罗西诺内
Sensate_ 14(未知主队球迷):天呐,我看到了什么?尤文已经2-0领先了,竟然还是踢攻势足球?(I cant believe what im seeing. Juve are 2-0 up and actually playing attacking football & looking to score more goals.)
ManNamedBilly(曼联球迷):看到C罗搂住了迪巴拉,马塞洛在西班牙流下了伤心的泪水…(marcelo is crying somewhere in madrid over the hugs he gives Dybala.)
好了,亲爱的小伙伴们,本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了。本周,精彩的欧冠赛事又将重燃战火,让我们拭目以待,来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧!(本文内容来源懂球帝,如侵权请联系删除)